Friday, July 22, 2011

HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW?


I paid a high price to find out. 02/24/2020

HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW?

Glenn Cunningham set a new world record for running an indoor mile race at Dartmouth College in 1938. His amazing time of 4:04.4 minutes shattered the old record by two seconds.  After watching the Movie Tone newsreel of the race, I became inspired to become a track star.
“When I grow up I want to be a famous runner like Cunningham. He’ll try to set a new outdoor record for the mile when he competes in a few weeks at the Penn Relays.”
This dinner time announcement impressed or perhaps amused my brother. He said, “Did I ever mention that I was a member of my St. Peter’s College track team? One year we went to Philadelphia to compete in the Penn Relays. When we boarded the train, I went to the smoking car planning to enjoy a cigar I had swiped from dad’s supply of White Owls. A woman carrying a small box sat down next to me. We didn’t speak to each other as we rode along. As the train neared Philly, I lit up my cigar. She started to cough from the smoke.” 
“Put that cigar out,” she demanded.
 “No, I won’t. This is a smoking car, after all.” 
He continued: “This was just the opening round of the ensuing war. With a look of defiance, she opened her box. Out popped a small white poodle that started yapping at me.
“Hey lady, dogs aren’t allowed to ride on trains. You have some nerve telling me to stop smoking when you sneaked that mutt aboard.”
“Well, one thing led to another. She started yelling at me and I yelled back. The conductor came along and said, ‘Look, you two, I have a good mind to throw you both off the train. However, to keep the peace, please open the window to let your cigar smoke out.’
“I opened it and the conductor walked away. Suddenly, without warning, the woman reached over, grabbed the cigar from my mouth and tossed it out the window! Furious at this act, I grabbed her dog and tossed IT out the window!”
He added, “A moment later, the train pulled in to the 30 Broad Street station and I got off as quickly as possible, pursued by this angry woman shouting, ‘That man threw my pet dog out the window!’ ”
My pulse quickened as my brother’s voice rose a notch.
“Out of the blue, this woman’s husband appeared. He grabbed me by the collar and screamed at me, ‘Did you throw our pet dog out the window?”
“The brute raised his huge fist, ready to knock the dickens out of me.”
I replied breathlessly, “Oh, gosh! What happened then?”
“Well, as luck would have it, just at that precise moment, who should come running up the platform but their dog . . . with my cigar in its mouth.”
Thereupon, my career goal changed from becoming a Track and Field star to a Storyteller. It is a good thing because in time my legs weakened, while my wagging tongue grew stronger.
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