CASINO GAMBLING

Do you like to gamble at casinos? Not me. Here's an essay I wrote some years ago after visiting Laughlin's casinos with a number of senior citizens.

CASINO GAMBLING

In 1995, my wife and I spent a few days in Laughlin, Nevada. The civic fathers of this gambling Mecca promoted an event that attracted thousands of senior citizens. The festivities included parades, dances, exhibitions, and numerous seminars on a variety of subjects. The planners offered side trips to Oatman and Lake Havasu, ever-popular tourist destinations. I enjoyed these side trips, not the casinos.

Angie warily eyes one of Oatman's wild donkeys.

Gambling holds no charm for me. I am not thrilled or dazzled by their glitzy neon décor. I hate listening to the din that emanates from slot machines. It amazes me that so many others (like my wife) enjoy themselves at these venues, happily betting their money, knowing that the odds favor the house. The players, taken collectively, always lose. Individuals may have a run of luck that allows them to win, but rarely do they take their profits and head for the exit.

Why do so many seniors play slot machines or make Keno bets rather than trying their luck on Blackjack or Craps? It’s because they didn’t know how to play these fast paced games and tend to become confused by the action.

I sympathize. The game of Craps requires a good bit of mental effort and stamina to play since you cannot sit down while gambling. There are so many betting opportunities that a novice can easily lose track of what is happening to his money. Each roll of the dice offers a new chance to place a bet. When a game attracts a number of players, they sprinkle their chips around the table like raindrops. It’s confusing.

On the bus coming home from this particular jaunt, I tried my best to explain Craps to a few others. It made their eyes roll. Here’s what I said:

“There are 36 possible outcomes when you roll the dice, and this determines the odds. As an example, if you make a bet to win, and roll a 2, 3, or 12, you lose but retain the right to roll the dice again. If a 7 or 11 should appear on your first roll, you win. Now, there are four ways to roll a 2, 3, or 12, compared to eight ways to roll a 7 or 11. Thus, on your first roll, you have twice as good a chance to win as to lose.”

Unfortunately, the game is not that simple. I continued:

“Should you roll a 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, or 10 on your initial toss, the bet is not settled. Now you are required to roll the dice, hoping that one of those six numbers (known as your ‘point’) appears before rolling a 7. If it does, you win your bet. If you toss a 7 first, you have ‘crapped out,’ losing your bet and the right to continue rolling the dice.

I went on:

“Since there are six ways to roll a 7, in contrast to five ways to roll a 6 or 8, four ways to roll a 5 or 9, or three ways to roll a 4 or 10, the house has you at its probability mercy while you strive to make your point. If you are lucky enough to win the bet, the house only pays you even money, not the amount dictated by true odds. As an example, if you won by making the point, 4, you should have been paid twice as much as you bet since you beat the odds (three ways to make a 4, six ways to make a 7). You won, but the house keeps the difference between what you should have received (true odds) and even money. You won, but the casino pockets some of your winnings for itself.

The lecture continued:

“To make it more fair, most casinos allow you to ‘back up’ your original bet once you have rolled a 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10. This means you can place a second bet, equal to the amount of your initial one. In this example, should you bet $10 and have 4 as your point, you can place a second bet of $10 ‘backing up’ your first bet before continuing to roll the dice. If you should roll a 4 before the dreaded 7, the casino pays even money on your first bet ($10), but $20 for the second bet, at the true odds of 2 to 1.”

I emphasized:

“Knowing the odds does not increase the chances of winning. It may help you lose your gambling money more slowly. However, if you play long enough, you will lose it all to the inexorable grind of the odds, which in the case of Craps favors the house by about 1.6%. This percentage advantage is small, but it adds up. Lucky Luciano, one of the more notorious racketeers who controlled Las Vegas gambling operations early on once said, ‘Why should we bother to steal when Nevada offers us an opportunity to take people's money legally, and we get paid before we do anything.’”

Rome was not built in a day, but if the Tribunes had used casino savvy, they could have built it more quickly and lavishly. Throwing Christians to the Lions would have been just another diversion at the Forum. The real action would have taken place under the grandstands at the Craps table.

Cleopatra might have said, "Veni, Vidi, Visa. I came, I saw, I shopped. Now I am gambling. C'mon VII. C'mon XI. Baby needs a new barge."

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