Thursday, October 6, 2011

LULLABY OF BIRDLAND

I once worked with three retired Air Force colonels who made lasting impressions on me, as told below. 03/10/2016
LULLABY OF BIRDLAND
March 1976 marked the start of my ninth year of employment at Salt River Project. My performance reviews had been good or above average and it made me consider myself a worthy candidate for future promotion. Others did not. What follows is a recital of events that led to my becoming an “also-ran” in the race to climb up the management ladder.
Around 1980 SRP hired a management consulting firm to assess its organizational structure, Six months later, the company began implementing its suggestions, including the creation of a new position, Associate General Manager. To the surprise of many, SRP hired a newly retired Air Force colonel (whom I will refer to as #1 in this yarn) to fill the job. His span of control encompassed ten department heads including me.
The company also formed a new department called “Operations Analysis.” People who worked there were tasked to study, analyze and improve work place efficiency. Colonel #1 hired another recently retired Air Force colonel to head up this group. I will refer to him as Colonel #2.
In 1982, Colonel #1 restructured his organization, reducing his span of control from ten to five department heads. He placed three departments (Supply, Transportation and Building Services) under a newly created position, Director, Operations Services. Much to my surprise, he announced that Colonel #2 would fill the Director’s job and would be my new boss.
The news of Colonel #2’s selection upset me. Didn’t my work experience and education qualify me for consideration? I made an appointment to speak with Colonel #1 to discuss the matter.
“Why didn’t you interview me for the job?” During the time I had worked for this man, he rated my performance as satisfactory. He never provided me with any negative feedback about my management skills. I had no reason to think he considered me unqualified for promotion.
He said something to the effect, “Joe, I only considered Colonel #2 for this position as he is by far the most qualified person in the company to handle this job.”
He added, “I had no idea you aspired to this level of management.” That comment shook me up. It made me realize my chances for future advancement would be nil.
Colonel #2 almost immediately removed a long time employee from his position as Manager, Building Services and hired yet another recently retired Air Force colonel to replace him. This new addition I will call Colonel #3.  
SRP’s management team now included three retired Air Force colonels in a direct chain of command. The structure now seemed more military than civilian in nature. When Colonel #1 suggested to me that the Supply Department be renamed, “Materiel” Management, I balked.
SRP is not a military entity. If you change the name, please spell it “Material.”  He withdrew his suggestion.
I sulked at having to report to #2. I soon came to appreciate how far superior his management skills were compared to mine. My goodness, this fellow had risen to the position of Base Commander of nearby Williams Air Field, and had trained pilots to fly during WW II.
Here is one example that illustrates the difference between us. I had to deal with a married supervisor discovered having a tryst with a female employee on company property during work hours.            
“What disciplinary action do you plan to take?” posed Colonel #2.
   This supervisor, a man I considered a personal friend, had joined the company at age eighteen and now, forty-three years later, held the record for longevity of service among all current employees. I considered him an icon.
I can’t recall specifically what I recommended as punishment, but not much more than a slap on the wrist.
My new boss gave me a scowl and said, “No. You will cut his pay by ten-percent and relocate him to an office next to mine where he can be monitored.” Colonel #2 knew how to court martial a soldier and an employee.
Although I had handled this disciplinary action poorly, Colonel #2 later granted me the largest annual salary increase in my career. At the time he said, “Joe, if you can live on your current salary, I recommend you invest this raise in the company’s Executive Deferred Benefits Plan.” I followed this sage advice and by the time I retired, it had grown into a sizeable portion of my portfolio
Colonel #2 retired from SRP in 1982. His secretary organized a farewell party and asked me to serve as the emcee. The crowd roared with laughter at my commentary in which I parodied his management style. John O’Malley, who had retired earlier from his position as Purchasing Agent, joined me on stage and raised the bar of humor even higher. The General Manager appeared last, commenting, “If you think I am going to try and compete with these two Irish comedians, you had better think again. I am no match for them.” Colonel #2 loved every minute of the roast.
Before he retired, Colonel #2 fired Colonel #3 because that “bird” left droppings all over the company. A former test pilot for both the Navy and the Air Force, he bristled with self confidence while making numerous improvements to the company’s facilities, most of them related to safety concerns. He erected numerous signs to control employee access to buildings and to where they could or could not walk in parking lots. His bluster and temper rankled many employees who thought their workplace began to resemble a military base. Brusque to the point of rudeness, he irritated many employees.
Once, we almost came to blows when I refused to allow some temporary employees to walk through the Stationery warehouse to access restrooms. I would have acquiesced had he not made some derogatory remarks about my being petty.  He oozed arrogance. It neither surprised nor displeased me when he got axed.
Sadly, Colonel #2 died a few years later, a victim of Alzheimer’s disease. The “Lullaby of Birdland” ended on a blue note.



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